The Bear Grylls diet

Freshly pressed today was a post called “I’m always hungry” on a blog called Fooditude talking about how celebrities on diets are always hungry because they’re starving themselves. Anyway, someone called Miles Davis said this:

“I’m starting to believe our societal food habits developed too quickly for our bodies…maybe we’re still supposed to eat like the friggin’ hunter-gatherers…?” 

Good call Miles. And I’m a big fan of your tunes.

This inspired a flash of inspiration (does that even make sense?) as to the next big fad diet. Following the example of only the best known hunter and gatherer of modern times:

That’s right… The Bear Grylls diet!!

It goes a little something like this:

Breakfast: 1 large, slimy grub (Hakuna Matata!), assorted roots.

EEEHHH

Lunch: 1 fish, sashimi style. Various shrubbery.

Not so bad...

 Dinner: 1 zebra fillet (raw).

EEEEEHHHHHH!!! (This is the noise you hear a lot in my household when this show is on, just fyi)

  and don’t forget to drink plenty of fluids!

In case you didn't see this one, that's elephant poo he's drinking.

There would be a lot less overweight people if this is how we had to eat. And drink. Just saying.

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6 responses to “The Bear Grylls diet

  1. gotta love a bit of bear grylls! i reckon we should all be on a hunter gatherer diet, we would be much healthier

    re: finland. Finland is awesome, I love it! they speak english extremely well and usually if they don’t understand you just ad an ‘i’ to the end of the word. eg. Rocki Bari, or Polisii (rock bar and police)! well that works pretty easy. anyway i would highly recommend finland in spring and summer. it’s a beautiful place with beautiful generous people but they are quite shy at first.

    • That sounds cool as Isis, so far I’m trying to narrow down my destinations from Sweden, Finland, Norway or Mexico (that last one is a bit out of place!). Probs won’t be going anywhere that involves ripping into carcasses to survive (unless the Fins have strange eating practices I’m unaware of…)!

  2. Well, you definitely win that argument. The effort alone to rip open a zebra carcass would burn enough calories to ignite a scooter. Like celery, it should be in the “negative calories” food category. They should feature this on the food network. :-D
    PS. Sadly, I share neither his name nor music genius…

    • I can just see bright orange, platinum blonde girls running amok at the zoo trying to rip open different animals because they’ve heard it’s ‘negative calories’ and they’re probably all starving :D
      Was that mean? I feel a bit mean…
      And Miles, even without his talent I’m sure you can channel his cool!

  3. Using platform clogs to strike down the gnarly beasts then ripping them to shreds with their stiletto heels. Fake wolverine nails shredding the fur to tuft into a hat for the colder days…that wasn’t mean. That was an entertaining scene in my head.

    By the way, it’s Mavis Davis, not Miles. I wish.

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